Damn you Jack Sparrow!

So, as anyone with half a brain knows, going sailing in your ship off the coast of Somalia right now is pretty much an incredibly stupid idea. The Piracy and lawlessness in the area is getting rather idiotic. Seriously folks, it’s like that old joke about going to the doctor.

“Doc, it hurts when I do this!”
“Then don’t do that!”

Seriously, if pirates are capturing ships off Somalia, don’t fucking go there. If you HAVE to go there, perhaps arming your ship against the pirates would be a good idea. Lessee here, they come with RPG’s and machineguns, so I reccomend getting at least the same or similar just so you can defend yourselves. As many people have proven over the years, if you defend yourself they are more likely to go looking elsewhere rather than possibly fucking die by your hands.

BUT, this week alone, a Saudia Arabian oil tanker was taken over by pirates, and two days ago a cargo ship full of grain from Iran was taken hostage. Such sweet sweet irony. Iranians taken hostage, it made me giggle for a moment.

However, the reason for the rather fast actions the past few days on the pirates part is possibly due to their home base ship being fucking sunk by the Indian Navy. Not the American Navy, who would have been yelled at as unilateral, illegal, and immoral because we didn’t fucking talk to them about how their feelings had been hurt, but by the Indian navy,

An Indian warship has exchanged fire with a pirate “mother vessel” off the hijacking-plagued Horn of Africa, leaving the ship ablaze in the Gulf of Aden, an official said Wednesday. 

The skirmish took place Tuesday evening about 525 kilometers southwest of Oman’s Salalah port when the frigate INS Tabar spotted a suspected pirate ship with two speedboats in tow, India’s Defense Ministry reported.

“This vessel was similar in description to the ‘Mother Vessel’ mentioned in various piracy bulletins,” the ministry said in a written statement.

The battle follows a recent surge in piracy off the Horn of Africa, including the weekend hijacking of a Saudi-owned supertanker by pirates based in largely lawless Somalia.  

Three other vessels have been captured since then in what a London-based maritime official called a “completely unprecedented” situation.

When the Tabar’s crew hailed the ship and demanded it stop for inspection, the pirates threatened to destroy the Indian ship, the ministry reported.

“Pirates were seen roaming on the upper deck of this vessel with guns and rocket-propelled grenade launchers. The vessel continued its threatening calls and subsequently fired upon INS Tabar,” the ministry said.

The Indian frigate returned fire, setting the pirate ship ablaze and setting off explosions on board, the statement said. Two speedboats in tow behind the ship fled; one was found abandoned after a pursuit by the Tabar.

Now, I dont know what the Captain actually said when he communicated with his government and the rest of the world, but I really hope it was something like this.

“We have engaged the enemy, and burned them to the water line. Unfortunatly our boarding action was cancled when explosions began on target vessel. Our saddened crew returned their cutlasses to the armory. Please send more Pirates.”

Of course, the UN will open a trilateral commission to get an understanding of what is going on, an indepth analasis of why the parties were fighting in the first place, and end up blaming it on Indian Aggression. Not that, ya know, the Pirates fired first or anything.

Kudos Indian Navy. Send the rest of the fucking bastards to the bottom of the ocean to join their buddies.

And the Iranian hostages can fucking join them.